Almost every user focused research exercise leaves someone wondering when to listen and when to lead. When do we sit back and observe without interruption or silently listen to responses without poking and prodding for more context? When do we jump in, steer the conversation and how often? Of course, there is no clear answer that can apply to every project or situation, but I err on the belief that as product visionaries, designers, and thinkers, we should always leave room for both and continually improve on our ability to lead and listen.

Over the years I've worked with many people with varying levels/understanding of qualitative research methods. I've seen talented engineers completely steamroll an interview participant, convinced that the physical sensation they experience using the product was "impossible to feel". I've also seen the other side of that scenario, where a user completely jumps the tracks, talks at length about completely unrelated experiences, and before you know it, time is up and you've only gathered half of one one question for the project.

If you are actively engaging with users for qualitative research, here are some easy tips for balancing your ability to lead and listen.

Know as much about who you will interview as possible BEFORE the interview. Set criteria for recruiting users and cover basic demographic information in the recruitment phase. If you know who you will be interviewing, you can quickly get to asking meaningful questions.
Be organized with your question topics and research goals. If you have to constantly look back to your notes to know what question you should be asking, you are not listening well enough. In person interviews should be less about surveys with predetermined triggers/logic and more about capturing the nuances around the topic and experiences.
Keep your best practices to yourself during the interview. Remember, you are there to learn from others and not influence how they behave. Although you are likely an expert in your field or have deep knowledge into the product/service, try to put yourself in a true position of discovery.
Be straightforward and clear about how you will use the time. If your goal is to understand how a user takes out the recycling, don't be afraid to steer the conversation away from their detailed synopsis of dog grooming. Be polite and restate what you are interested in learning from them in the short amount of time you have together.
Take great notes. It doesn't matter if you write, type or record, just be sure your documentation doesn't require more attention than the interview. Never be afraid to follow-up at another time, after you've reviewed the data and formed more questions. Research is a process that should always inspire you to ask more questions (although you may have to weigh those decisions on project budget and time of course).

I find these tips useful reminders each time I start a project and also great measures to gauge my effectiveness each time I finish a project. A successful project strikes a healthy balance between attentive listening and focused leading!